As a woman, throughout my life I can honestly say that I have struggled with my fair share of food and body image issues. I was bullied during my middle school years by a few girls and boys. The bullying continued into the beginning of my high school years. These unkind messages from my peers (and sometimes family members) made the negative beliefs I held about myself worse. Maybe some of you can relate.
My Body Image Issues
The issues I struggled with included too much focus on parts of my body I didn’t like. I also had a difficult relationship with food including overeating, restricting, being too militant with food choices and portion management. All that resulted in weight fluctuations. I also tended to be a perfectionist, which caused me a lot of anxiety and impacted the majority of my activities. I admit, these tendencies still rear their ugly heads from time to time. But I find I have much more control over my self-talk and behavior than I did when I was young.
Gaining Control
I don’t think I really was able to really gain control over my eating habits or change the beliefs I held about myself until college. Through taking courses in nutrition and Psychology, I was able to educate myself about how my choices were impacting my body. I also learned how my beliefs about myself were, overall, doing me a disservice. Having that knowledge and insight, and the willingness to make changes, I turned my life around in a profound way. And now, I want to share these strategies with you.
Strategies:
Exercise
– I try to work out 3-5 days per week, which increases endorphins. Sometimes I don’t feel motivated to go to the gym or work out at home, but then I do it anyway. I know I always feel better afterward. Bringing that feeling to the forefront of my mind gives me the extra push I need.
Attuned Eating
– I have become mindfully aware of my body’s signals when I am hungry or full. When its hungry, I nourish and feed it, and when I am full, I don’t consume more than I need.
Balanced Eating
– Additionally, I have developed a more flexible eating plan where ALL foods fit. I also pay attention and listen to my body. I never categorize foods as “good” or “bad.” know there are certain foods that energize me, while others make me feel more lethargic or bloated. These types of foods I tend to eat in moderation.
Gratitude List
– My gratitude list includes reminders of all of the wonderful things my body allows me to do (like breathing, laughing, and dancing, ya’ll!).
Showing Self-Compassion and Doing Mirror Work
– When I look in the mirror, I look at myself as a whole person, and do not focus on any one part of my body that I am feeling dissatisfied with. I say kind things to myself in the mirror, instead of disparaging things (like I used to). This might seem a bit goofy, but it really helps!
Wear Clothes That Make Me Feel Good
– As I have aged, my body has changed (like everyone’s body does). What I used to wear when I was in my 20’s is WAY different than what I now wear in my 30’s, and I am OK with that. I focus on wearing clothes that I am comfortable in and that feel good, whether its lounging around the house, going to a party or wearing business casual attire to work.
Surround Myself with People Who Lift Me Up
– This is an important one. I have been tending the garden that is my relationships my entire life, and throughout the years, have had to weed some really toxic relationships. This is so I can focus on tending to those relationships that are reciprocal; those that inspire and support me.
Treat Myself
– I will take a bubble bath, get my nails done, get a massage, meditate with a scented aromatherapy candle, or take a few minutes to pause and listen to music
P.S. Many of these are derived from strategies that NEDA (National Eating Disorders Association) approves of and supports.
I have had to do a lot of work on myself over the years and believe me, the work is ongoing. I have to practice many of these strategies on a regular basis so as not to fall back into old thought patterns. These experiences have also led to an immense passion for working with girls and women (and some men too!) who want to have a better relationship with food and their bodies! I enjoy working with these ladies in my office, providing them the tools and skills necessary to live happier, healthier, more fulfilling lives!
What is one thing you can do today to improve your relationship with food or your body?