Plan ahead
Recognizing that these anniversaries exist and knowing that you are nearing one in your own life can feel overwhelming. This is especially true if you’re struggling to cope with the challenge that you’ve been through. As you begin thinking about the date that your event occurred, think about what you’ll do that day, how you’ll feel, and how you’ll react to people around you. Think about your own personal struggles and needs at this time.
For some, it may be helpful to take the day off of work or school. You could meet with a mental health professional. Maybe a dedication or remembrance of a lost loved one would help. Or you could even get out of town for a few days. Make plans for how to go about your day based on what feels right for you. Whatever you choose, know that your needs may be different in the years to come. You’ll have the opportunity to hone in on what works for you year to year.
Recognize that whatever you’re feeling is okay
Challenges like grief and trauma are no easy feat. There’s a strong possibility that your emotions may feel unorganized, hard to handle, and messy. There may be moments of joy among sadness, anger, frustration, or exhaustion. Around significant anniversaries, you may feel emotions more strongly, or feel them change more rapidly. Whatever your emotions are, they are valid. Find a healthy way to express your feelings, like talking with a friend or journaling your thoughts in order to help you process what you’re going through.
Check in with your body
At times like these, our bodies are in tune with our minds. It isn’t uncommon at all for us to feel increased body aches, pains, anxiety, or other symptoms associated with our grief and trauma. Keep an eye for any changes, such as an increase in anxiety, or feeling more fatigued, and check in with your healthcare provider about any changes you might be experiencing.
In addition, coping with the anniversary of a trauma can make us feel depleted, so now is the time to focus on self-care. Throw everything you have at taking as good of care of yourself as possible by prioritizing rest, water intake, and even activities like socializing with friends and making sure that you’re eating healthy meals.
Check in with your support team
If you really find yourself struggling at this time, check in with your support team to help you through this time. This might include friends and family, your doctor or therapist, or anyone else you can turn to in difficult times. When we’re struggling, often people are more than willing to help us get through tough times–all we have to do is ask.
About Samantha Nolan, MA, LPC, ATR- Barnum Counseling
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