Are you interested in learning about three strategies to cope with distress? Stress affects everyone in one way or another. Having evidence-based coping strategies in our back pocket to use when we need them can really help! Today, I am covering the following strategies: self-soothing, improving the moment and willingness.
Self-Soothing
In order to soothe yourself you will need to engage all five of your senses–vision, hearing, smell, taste, and touch. To engage your vision you might choose to look at the stars at night. Or you could light a candle and watch the flame, or watch a sunrise or sunset. Maybe you’ll enjoy paying attention to the sounds of the city or nature, creating a playlist that makes you feel good, or learning to play an instrument.
Or, you could try actually stopping and smelling the roses. Inhale the aroma of coffee or tea, or use your favorite scented soap. Taste your favorite meal, eat one thing mindfully, or treat yourself to a delicious dessert. Take a long hot bath or shower, pet your dog or cat if you have one, or give someone a big hug. Of course, this list is not exhaustive. Just make sure you are incorporating all five of your senses into the self-soothing experience.
Improve the Moment
Improving the moment just means making the most out of the moment you are in. To foster this improvement, you could use imagery, pray (if you partake), take a vacation or just relax. What’s important is that you pay attention to one thing at the moment and implement self-encouragement and rethinking the situation. For example, try to imagine a peaceful scene, a secret room within yourself. Or picture hurtful emotions draining out of you like water out of a pipe. Find purpose or meaning in a painful situation, focus on whatever positive aspects of a painful situation you can find, and repeat those positive aspects in your mind.
We still validate the pain of the situation of course! If you are willing and it aligns with your beliefs, open your heart to a supreme being, God, or your own Wise Mind. Ask for strength to bear the pain. Maybe try massaging your neck or scalp, drink something hot, or breathe deeply. Focus your entire attention on just one thing. Keep your mind in the present moment. Give yourself a brief vacation, get in bed and pull the covers over your head, or take a one hour break from straining work. Don’t ever underestimate the power of a mirror pep talk in the morning!
Willingness
Willingness is a readiness to enter and participate in life and living. In order to find a willing response to each situation, one must do just what is needed in each situation, wholeheartedly. It is LISTENING to your Wise Mind and ACTING from your Wise Mind. Willingness is acting with awareness that you are connected to the universe (and everything in it).
You will want to replace willfulness with willingness. Willfulness might look a little like refusing to tolerate the moment, refusing to make necessary changes, giving up, doing the opposite of doing what works, trying to fix every situation, and insisting on being in control. What are the steps to willingness you ask? Observe the willfulness and label it, radically accept at the moment you feel willful and you cannot fight willfulness with willfulness, and turn your mind towards acceptance and willingness.
Let’s Sum Up How to Cope With Distress
There are so many different strategies out there to help ease tensions and cope with distress. Self-soothing, improving the moment, and willingness are three very helpful approaches to start to feel regulated again. Just a reminder, self-soothing involves engaging all five of your senses. Pick activities that involve your sight, smell, touch, sound, and taste. Improve a moment through things such as imagery, meaning-making, prayer, relaxation, focusing on one thing, vacationing, and self-empowerment. Most of all try to forgo willfulness to move towards acceptance and willingness.
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Photo by Francisco Moreno on Unsplash