Dealing with Difficult Emotions: A Guide to Emotional Regulation
Dealing with difficult emotions can be challenging, but it’s an important skill to have. Emotion regulation is the ability to manage and control our emotions, rather than letting them control us. It can help us feel more in control of our lives, and can improve our relationships with others. Here is a guide to emotion regulation:
Identify the emotion you are feeling
The first step in emotion regulation is to identify the emotion you are feeling. This can be challenging, as we often have multiple emotions at the same time and they can be difficult to name. However, taking the time to identify the emotion can help you better understand what is going on inside of you and how to deal with it. Using a feelings wheel or feelings chart can help you see different emotions and might help you better name what you are feeling. Also, try and avoid naming “anger” as an emotion. Anger is a secondary emotion, meaning that there is a different emotion that triggered our anger.
Accept the emotion
Once you have identified the emotion, it’s important to accept that you are feeling it. This can be difficult, especially if the emotion is uncomfortable or unpleasant. However, denying or suppressing our emotions can actually make them worse in the long run. Instead, try to accept the emotion and acknowledge that it is a normal and natural part of being human.
Identify the cause of the emotion
Once you have accepted the emotion, it can be helpful to try to identify the cause. What event or situation triggered the emotion? Understanding the cause can help you better understand the emotion and how to deal with it.
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. It can be helpful in emotion regulation because it allows us to observe our emotions without getting caught up in them. When we are mindful, we are better able to see our emotions for what they are – temporary states that will pass. Mindfulness activities could be focusing on your breathing, various forms of meditation, and journaling to name a few.
Use healthy coping mechanisms
When we are faced with difficult emotions, it can be tempting to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse, unhealthy eating habits, or avoidance. However, these coping mechanisms often only provide temporary relief and can make the problem worse in the long run. Instead, try using healthy coping mechanisms such as talking to a trusted friend or loved one, engaging in physical activity, or practicing relaxation techniques.
Reframe negative thoughts
Our thoughts can have a big impact on our emotions. If we are thinking negative thoughts, it can fuel negative emotions. One way to regulate our emotions is to reframe these negative thoughts. For example, instead of thinking “I am a failure,” try reframing the thought as, “I may not have succeeded this time, but I can learn from my mistakes and try again.”
Seek professional help if needed
If you are struggling to regulate your emotions and are finding it difficult to cope, it may be helpful to seek professional help. A therapist can help you better understand and manage your emotions, and can provide you with additional tools and techniques for emotion regulation.
Review
Emotion regulation is a skill that can be learned and improved upon with practice. It can take time and effort, but it is worth it for the benefits it can bring to your life. By learning to identify and accept your emotions, using healthy coping mechanisms, and seeking professional help when needed, you can better manage your emotions and live a happier, more fulfilling life.
Learn more about the author of this post here: About Therapist Bethany Winter, MA, LPC Barnum Counseling
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