What are boundaries?
Boundaries are the ways in which we communicate to others our level of comfort with different people, situations, or around expectations. Setting boundaries with yourself and others can drastically improve your quality of life, relationships, and self-esteem. The caveat is that it takes patience, practice, and an awareness that not everyone will respect or agree with the boundaries you set. Despite the challenges that may come, know that you are inherently worthy and capable of doing the work to have a better life.
Different types of boundaries
There are different types of boundaries such as physical, financial, emotional, social, spiritual, and religious boundaries. An example for each is listed below.
Physical – when someone is too close for comfort.
You can say, “You are too close and I need a little more space between us”.
Financial – When someone demands to borrow money
You can say, “I cannot support you this time around. I am on a budget.”
Emotional – When you are grieving any type of loss
You can say, “I am not ready to talk about this now.”
Social – when invited to a family dinner
You can say, “Thank you for inviting me. I can come for dinner but cannot stay late.”
Spiritual – when asked if you are spiritual
You can say, “Yes” or “No.” It is up to you if you want to elaborate but you don’t have to.
Religious – when asked why your partner does not attend church with you
You can say “We each respect our different beliefs and practices and do what feels right for us.”
Practice and patience when setting boundaries
Once you know what you are and are not comfortable with, you can start taking small steps to gain the confidence you need to say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no. It will be challenging. The best thing you can give yourself today is the gift of progress over perfection. Take one small step to be kinder and more compassionate towards yourself and when in doubt reach out to us so you don’t have to do this alone.
Learn more about the author, Sonia De La Torre, MSW, LSW here.
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