Hope everyone is having a great start to the week! I kicked off my week by attending a presentation on school anxiety in children and adolescents at Linden Oaks to gain more insight on manageable ways to handle school anxiety.
Self-Reflection
I got to the presentation quite early so I had time to grab a coffee and get settled in. While I waited for the presentation to start, I began to self-reflect on my own personal struggle with school anxiety during middle and high school. I remember putting so much pressure on myself to maintain high grades and fit in with peers. I also tried to have the “in” clothes and please my parents, all at the same time. My anxiety caused me such fear of falling behind that my irrational thoughts began to affect my physical health. I experienced changes in eating and sleeping habits, which lead to withdrawn behavior. Luckily, I overcame anxiety with the help of my friends and family! When children and adolescents share their personal anxieties related to school with me, I can truly empathize with the pressure of handling multiple things at once. This point in life is no fun – academics, peers and developing our identity is no breeze.
Linden Oaks offered an insightful presentation on how to help children and adolescents with school anxiety by providing defusing techniques.
Is your child experiencing school anxiety?
Often times, children and adolescents experience anxiety without us even knowing! Your child may exhibit certain behaviors before school or the night before, such as: stomachaches, headaches, difficulty concentrating, crying, overeating, lack of appetite, difficulty sleeping or isolation. Children typically want to stay home because it provides a safe and comforting environment, but as they miss more school they begin to associate that environment with anxiety.
How should we react?
As parents, we are managing multiple things in the morning. We have to make sure everyone is fed, the dogs are walked, lunches are packed, get fully dressed and prepared for the day. So when your child begins to have a crisis before leaving the house, what do we do? According to Linden Oaks Anxiety Program, reactions such as, “Calm down”, “Just don’t think that way” or “Don’t worry about” will not release the anxiety overwhelming them. We need to LISTEN and VALIDATE their feelings. Have your child communicate what they are feeling.
Does school anxiety go away?
Anxiety is an emotion. It will always be with us. I know that may be scary to hear, but building tolerance can help soften and quiet those harsh voices. Rather than avoiding that emotion, we need to learn how to manage and cope!
What is my role as a parent?
There is an instinct to help children during a time of need (calling them out of school, letting them leave school early, contacting teachers on their behalf) but we need to break the cycle. It is NECESSARY and HEALTHY for children to learn how to self-soothe, emotional regulation, deep breathing and practice mindfulness during anxious moments prior or during school.
Individual and family therapy is a beneficial opportunity for your child or adolescent to identify anxiety triggers and healthy coping skills. If your child is experiencing school anxiety, please contact our practice today! For more information on our services, click here.
Written by: Coral Pidone, MA, LPC
Image by Freepik