What causes disconnection in relationships?
Folks, life is constantly moving. Trying to juggle work, school, children or other care-giving roles can be overwhelming and time-consuming. With how much we humans are managing daily, sometimes we don’t even have time for ourselves. If we are in a relationship and trying to balance these hectic schedules, we can sometimes get stuck in dull and monotonous routines. This can ultimately lead to feelings of being detached and disconnected from our partners. Fortunately, we are here to help with some tips on how to help improve the closeness in your relationship! But first, we need to take a look at where disconnection can lead.
What does disconnection impact?
Unfortunately, disconnection can become increasingly problematic in a relationship. Disconnection does not happen overnight. It is a process that happens over time. It may negatively impact other areas of the relationship, such as communication, listening, feeling understood and considered, affection, and even sex. So, it can ultimately lead partners (or spouses) to feel withdrawn, unhappy, and angry.
How do we turn this around?
Reconnecting can appear in many forms. Ultimately, emotional intimacy repairs the relationship between partners. This is because at the end of the day, we all just want to be seen, heard, felt and considered. So, taking a moment to pause, reflect on all of those cherished, friendly, loving moments you have experienced together the past. What did they look like? Pull those moments back to the forefront of your mind. With a little work, commitment and consistency to creating more positive and meaningful moments, you can improve the attachment between you and your significant other.
Linking with our partner
Imagine your relationship as a living, breathing being that needs nurturing. You need to give a relationship sustenance for it to survive and thrive. Or, like a cell phone, it needs recharging in order to function well for longer periods of time (a less romantic analogy, but you get the drift). Whichever way you want to picture what refueling the relationship looks like, you need to take action to create more intimate moments. Below are some fun and adventurous ways (keep an open mind!) to implement some re-connection with your significant other:
- Talk one on one for 30 minutes each night. You’ll be surprised at how much you learn about your partner without any distractions!
- Start a new ritual – morning coffee run, Saturday frozen yogurt nights or evening walks! Starting new routines will only help create new positive memories.
- Practice assertive listening – face your partner, give eye contact and phrase back what they said. Giving your partner undivided attention and assertive listening makes them feel appreciated and valued. A great exercise to practice assertive listening is reminiscing about good memories!
- Bedtime is an intimate time. Silence your phones and turn off the television. Decompress and cuddle!
- Find a new activity you can do together (how about every other week?)
Find help today
These simple skills are beneficial for any relationship but more importantly a disconnected relationship. If you feel you and your partner need further assistance please call 630-797-8384 or click here.
Written by: Coral Pidone, MA, LPC