The Definition of Fibromyalgia
According to the Mayo Clinic, the definition of Fibromyalgia is a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. Living with Fibromyalgia can be challenging.
My Story of Living With Fibromyalgia
In the Beginning
Hi, my name is Ann* and this is my life. This post is a firsthand look into my world and what living with Fibromyalgia has felt like to me. Almost 25 years ago, I woke up in the morning in extreme pain. My shoulders and my back hurt really bad. I attributed it to sleeping wrong. I let it go for about a week and just couldn’t handle the pain anymore. So, I picked up the phone and made a doctor’s appointment. We started with a series of blood tests to rule out Multiple Sclerosis, Lyme’s Disease, Lupus, Hepatitis C, and other illnesses. We then moved on to x-rays, an MRI, and a Cat scan. Everything came back negative.
At the time, I had two friends who were experiencing similar symptoms of unexplained body pain. They were told by their doctors it was psychological. One had severe pain in her thighs and legs and the other in her left shoulder and her arm. We all cried together. My doctor promised he would not give up on me. From research I did, it seemed that many people were experiencing the same thing in other parts of the world. They eventually labeled this condition as a medical mystery.
Challenges Along the Way
Throughout the years, I have had difficulty with sleep. I have also experienced ups and downs in mood and some memory issues. More specifically, I have had difficulty recalling words and forgotten conversations I have had with others. In addition, I also had another problem. This one is difficult for me to admit, but for 15 years, I lived on addictive prescription pain medication. The medication helped me deal with the chronic pain in my daily life.
When my doctor retired, everything changed. The new doctor refused to give me painkillers. At that point, I panicked. I had been on the medication a long time and they helped me get through my day. All I could think was, “No, I can’t start over; not again! Why fix it if it’s not broken?!!” This was maddening. Of course, in part, this was the addiction talking. However, another large part of it was the fear of being in excruciating pain again. I was resistant to change, and although I knew being on painkillers was probably not the best, it made life tolerable.
The withdrawal from the pain medication was awful. I felt dizzy, nauseated and so sick. I was moody, anxious, and felt helpless. This lasted for at least a week and eventually dissipated. However, while I was going through this, it felt like forever.
The new doctor put me on medication called Lyrica. After six months of being on this medication, I suffered from deep depression and suicidal thoughts. I finally admitted this to another one of my other doctors and broke down in tears. She immediately told me to stop taking it and called my doctor. I told her I felt ashamed for feeling depressed and suicidal. She explained that some of the side effects for that drug were symptoms of depression and suicidal thoughts, which should have been shared with me prior to beginning the medication.
Where I Am at Today
Within the last several and after extensive medical research, my condition was finally given the name Fibromyalgia. It felt reassuring to have a name for the condition I have been living with over the years. A new doctor switched my medication to Duloxetine, which has been consistent over the last ten years. I honestly can’t say its been super helpful. This condition has been debilitating. The simplest things on a daily basis are still hard for me to do. Taking a shower sometimes feels like needles are stabbing me in the back. The weather affects me. My body has a sensitivity to everything that touches me. It impacts my ability to get ready for work, perform at my job, and often slows me down. It is an everyday thing for me; however, some days are worse than others.
There Is Hope
Although this condition can be difficult to live with, I have found some successful ways to cope. With a combination of medication, Myofascial Physical Therapy, counseling (which has given me a positive mindset), meditation, and journaling I am able to function daily. While I may live with this day to day, I have also learned to take each day as it comes and hope for the best.
If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, please, pick up the phone and call The Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. The information in this post is strictly educational and not a substitute for professional medical or therapeutic treatment. Thank you to Ann* for allowing us to publish this interview. *The name of the individual has been changed for privacy purposes.
Resources: https://www.spineuniverse.com/conditions/fibromyalgia/fibromyalgia-treatments
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