I recently watched YOU, a Netflix original series, and it triggered my desire to write this post. I found myself frustrated and disturbed by the therapist’s behavior. For years, actors have played therapists in television shows and movies in various ways. Most often, unfortunately, they have been shown to have unrealistic and inappropriate relationships with their clients. What disturbs me the most about this is that it may hinder people from seeking help for mental health issues.
What follows is my take on the therapists in four TV shows. My goal is to shed light on the fact and fiction in each. My hope is that it will give you a better understanding of what therapy can be. SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED ONE OF THESE SHOWS, AND YOU WANT TO BE SURPRISED WHEN YOU DO, SKIP TO THE NEXT SECTION.
Review of the Therapist from You
The therapist is played by John Stamos, the handsome devil that many of us remember as Uncle Jesse in Full House (and most recently, Fuller House). In this show, his name is Dr. Nicky. First, Dr. Nicky smokes medical marijuana in session. He says he uses it to treat a chronic illness. Regardless of whether this is true, it is unacceptable. As therapists, any substance use before or during a session would put us at risk for losing our license – that beautiful piece of paper we spent years of schooling and studying to obtain. What’s worse, Dr. Nicky takes advantage of the vulnerability of Beck, the main character, and begins having a sexual and emotional relationship with her. This is unethical, inappropriate, manipulative and a complete abuse of power in the therapeutic relationship. If it happens to you or someone you know, it’s time to find another therapist.
Review of the Therapist from How I Met Your Mother
Full disclosure – I think this show is hilarious. It is probably one of my favorites, right up there with Friends and Rules of Engagement. However, as a therapist, the episode where Robin has court-ordered counseling with therapist Kevin is particularly bothersome. I will give him partial credit for ending the therapeutic relationship with her because he is physically attracted to her. But then he loses all credibility when he agrees to start dating her. Therapeutic relationships have boundaries for a reason. There may be situations where a therapist is attracted to a client. But it is never acceptable to date a client, even after the client is no longer seeing the therapist.
Review of the Psychiatrist from The Sopranos
Where do I even start with this one? Again, the show itself is highly disturbing. I’ll admit I haven’t watched the whole series. But there are a couple of scenes that come to mind.
First, Dr. Melfie gets drunk at a restaurant where her client Tony is having dinner. Clearly intoxicated, she approaches him and says hi. This is a big NO-NO for a therapist. Now, some of us live and work in the same community as our clients. It is not unusual to see our clients at the grocery store or Target now and then. However, it is our duty to maintain our clients’ confidentiality at all times. That means if we see them somewhere outside our office, we can smile at them, but we do not approach them.
Secondly, Tony puts the doctor in a very uncomfortable position, making her see her clients out of a hotel room instead of her office. Dr. Melfie also accepts financial help from Tony. Accepting financial help from a client is very inappropriate. So is seeing clients out of a hotel room. Not acceptable. It is a therapist’s goal to help clients feel safe. Providing a comfortable OFFICE space (not a hotel room) and setting boundaries helps with that.
Review of School Counselor from 13 Reasons Why
Let’s sum this up. The school counselor was portrayed as being too busy with his personal life to notice the warning signs of a teen girl who was sexually assaulted, depressed and suicidal. It is a counselor’s responsibility to separate work and home. If we can’t, then we need to take some time off.
Reflection
Can you think of any other therapists from movies or television that portray inappropriate relationships with their clients? I can see how the therapists in movies and television might sway people away from seeking help in therapy. But I am here to remind you these therapists are ACTORS – not actually therapists in real life. That’s not to say that there aren’t therapists out there who have poor boundaries… there are. However, I can promise you that at Barnum Counseling, we VALUE healthy boundaries. We set and maintain them appropriately with our clients.
If you are looking for a healthy, therapeutic relationship with a professional counselor, call us today!