If you’ve been following my post, you know I have been using an app called Calm. It’s helping guide my meditation on Seven Days of Happiness. Yesterday, I missed my Day of Happiness CALM meditation. I don’t have a good excuse and am taking responsibility for not making the time for this important practice.
I am back on the horse today, which led me to day three of the seven days of happiness! This one involved how “letting go” of certain things in our lives. Releasing things like guilt, embarrassment, anger, sadness or a bad relationship can actually help to increase our happiness level!
What is Letting Go?
Some words or phrases that are the opposite of letting go might be control and holding on. If we had it our way, we would control our parents, spouses, bosses, the weather, the past, etc. There also may be life events we have held on to, wishing we could jump into a time machine and change how things played out.
The reality is, we can’t go back. This can often be frustrating, disappointing, or [insert any other negative feeling here]. When we dwell on the past, we get stuck. We are not allowing ourselves to be fully present in our lives. By not being fully present, we miss out on opportunities for pleasure, joy and contentment. However, shifting our thoughts to focus on what we CAN control can be powerful! We CAN control OUR thoughts, emotions, behaviors and impulses. The great news is, we can CHOOSE how we respond when things don’t go our way! Letting go of what we can’t control can be pretty freeing.
How do we learn to let go?
If we start practicing letting go of the little things, we can work up to letting go of some of those bigger things. For example, think about how you feel if someone cuts you off while you’re driving. Letting go means choosing to take a deep breath and move on instead of riding their bumper, flipping them the bird, or swearing. Those are all negative actions that can increase negative emotions. By letting go, we choose to focus on something positive, like that sweet kid we see a helping that old lady with a walker across the street! Or the beauty of the autumn leaves as they change colors. (I love Fall!)
Letting go of the bigger things, like anger, or that grudge you have held for years, or regret… well, this can be certainly be trickier. And still, IT IS POSSIBLE TO LET GO of these bigger things too. You must dig deep, and sort through some really uncomfortable and painful memories and feelings.
But you don’t have to do it alone. Do you need help with letting go of something you have been harboring, or even with the “small” stuff? Consider calling 630-797-9192 today and scheduling an appointment with one of our licensed therapists.