I am leaning in to some discomfort with this post about combating depression. I’m allowing myself to be vulnerable through self-disclosure. (Thanks for the inspiration, Brene Brown!)
Problems of a Passionate Workaholic
I had a major surgery to remove almost half of my liver at the end of July. There was a tumor the size of a baseball on it that was causing fatigue and other problems. For these reasons, it had to be cut out. When my doctor said that I had to take 6-8 weeks off work, I’m pretty sure I responded something like, “Are you effing kidding me?” I could not wrap my mind around the idea of taking that much time away from work. I love what I do. Maybe you can relate. I think I was more upset by the news that I couldn’t work for two months than I was about the tumor or the surgery..
When you have major surgery, and a doctor tells you that you can’t do things like working out or leaving your house that you love to do it can make you feel depressed. I cried because I was sad, frustrated and exhausted. Because I was angry at my situation, I yelled. I felt helpless and dependent. I felt like I was a burden to others. And I did not like feeling those feelings.
I realized feeling sorry for myself wasn’t going to do me any good. I needed to quickly change what I was thinking, feeling and doing, in order to feel better.
Five Strategies I Used to Combat Depression
Distraction techniques
Watching TV got boring quickly. A person can only watch so much Netflix. So, I rediscovered my love for crossword puzzles, word searches, Sudoku and reading. I also colored in several adult coloring books. (Yes, I found the ones with the cuss words to be the most enjoyable and calming.) I listened to music. My physical therapy exercises even provided a distraction. I did research for our upcoming relocation. I napped. When I was feeling isolated, I connected with others through my phone.
Changing my thoughts
Focusing on the things I COULD do versus the things I could not really helped. I asked myself, “Can I change what is happening right now?” And I answered that I could not. I worked on accepting the reality that this time off was necessary for me to heal, instead of fighting against it and prolonging my recovery. Being grateful and homing in on what I was thankful for during all of this also helped.
Full disclosure. Some days, changing my thoughts was hard to do. During my recovery period, my husband and I moved to a new home in a new city. Not being allowed to lift anything heavier than a half-gallon of milk after surgery made me feel frustrated and helpless. But the reality was that the surgery happened. I was recovering, and I needed to accept this and allow my body to heal. So, I shifted my thoughts to gratitude: I was grateful the tumor was not cancerous. I was grateful to be alive. And I was grateful for the love and support I received during this difficult time.
Changing my self-talk
In the beginning of my recovery, I felt bad for myself. I felt guilty that my husband, family and friends were working hard to pack up my home while I was “sitting on my ass.” I did not show myself compassion and convinced myself that I was useless. A week or so into the recovery, I recognized that my self-talk was not helping me. By changing my inner dialog to “I can give myself permission to relax, accept the help, and let my body heal,” I began to feel emotionally and physically better.
Leaning on my support system for help
Asking for help can be hard sometimes. But I set aside my pride and accepted help that was offered from my friends and family. Their encouragement, reassurance and support throughout this process played a crucial role in my recovery. I will be forever grateful to them for that. I also saw my therapist (yes, I have one too!) to help me through all the major changes that were happening and prepare a plan to cope. I was also grateful for her help during this time.
Focusing on my goals
My main goal was to return to work after six weeks. I identified what I needed to do to reach that goal (i.e. focus on self-care, listening to medical professionals, accepting help, etc.) Then, I created an action plan (i.e. I will do something each day to help myself get there). By planning and taking action, I was able to return to work at the beginning of week seven. Folks, if your goal is realistic and attainable, and you put your mind to it, you can make it happen.
Having major surgery is no fun, and the journey through recovery can have its ups and downs. If you know someone who is depressed, for medical reasons or otherwise, encourage them to seek help.
Call 630-797-9192 today to start your journey to wellness with one of our licensed therapists supporting you every step of the way!
Disclaimer: Any advice or comments in this blog do not replace professional counseling and therapy services.